


Driving Down the Road

by QueenofWeird



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Sad Castiel, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, some sastiel if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 01:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8778148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofWeird/pseuds/QueenofWeird
Summary: Takes place at the beginning of episode one of season 12. Castiel is alone with his thoughts, and that is never a good thing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place when Castiel driving down the road in a truck, frantically trying to get to Sam.
> 
> I apologize if the format is wonky on a computer. I wrote this on a mobile device. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Please enjoy!

What had he done?

 _That's right, Castiel, what have you done?_  

The plan to defeat Amara had not gone as planned. Now, Lucifer is in the wind.

_Which is your fault because you said 'yes' to him, and let him crawl all up inside you._

Dean is dead.

_Also your fault since curing your precious charge set free the Darkness._

And Sam....

_Sammy's going to die~ And it's all your fault. You promised to keep him safe. Then again, you are never good at keeping your word much less protecting the ones you love._

Castiel further pressed his foot on the gas pedal as if he could escape the voice in his head.

_You think you can get rid of me, Castiel? I am inside your head. I am you. You can't escape yourself. Just like you can't escape your need to cause trouble and death wherever you go._

"Shut up," he whispered. His fingers curled tighter around the steering wheel.

_You're such a failure, Castiel. You can't save Sam. You should save Sam the pain of his hope shattering when he watches you fail. Just like you did with his brother._

Castiel was go far above the speedlimit now. "Shut up!"

_Cassie's gonna fail~ Cassie's gonna fail~ You should just kill yourself now while you have the chance. Do it, Castiel! Before you ruin anything else!_

The seraph slammed his foot on the break. "I said shut up! I made a promise! I am going to save Sam! I am not going to let Dean's death be in vain! I will succeed!"

The voice in his head 'tsk'ed.

_Oh, Cassie. You and I both know about your history when it comes to promises to the Winchesters. You and I both know that even if you do succeed, it will go without any form of true appreciation._

The seraph frowned. He slowly started driving again. He was trying to brock out the voice in his head. He was going to Sam. He would. He had to. It was Dean's dying wish.

_Still loyal to Dean even after he is dead, and that's another thing. Your loyalty, Castiel. It's misplaced. You are always so loyal to Dean even though he walks all over you with it. How many times have you sacrificed for him, and when has he ever shown true appreciation for what you've done for him?_

"Well, he has said--"

_Oh, come on, Castiel! You and I both know that those kind of words mean nothing. Especially when he says one thing and does another. He has torn you down for the things you try to do for his safety and benefit. He has taken your apologies and spat on them. You're too naive for your own good. Dean has you wrapped around his little finger even after he is dead. Face it, you will forever be someone's **little bitch** whether it be Heaven, the Devil, or Dean Winchester._

His eyes were glued to the road. He tried to blow off the voice's  words as if they meant nothing, but it was difficult. The points the words carried were very compelling. Almost too compelling. The seraph almost fell into the trap. He almost turned the truck around, but then he remembered that despite all the hateful things Dean has said, Dean always took him back. Dean always ended up accepting him again, and maybe he was being used. Maybe he was just the Winchesters' bitch. Never though has anyone taken him back when he has messed up. 

And Sam....Sam had done nothing wrong by him. Sam was the puriest and kindest being he has ever met. Sam....he was going to save Sam at all costs. He had to. He wasn't just doing it to fulfill a dead friend's dying wish, but for Sam....for himself. He was going to save Sam no matter what.

"I'm coming, Sam Winchester."

_Oh, Castiel....your loyalty is always taken for granted....used against you. Maybe one day you'll find someone who truly appreciates you._

The voice was silent after that, and the seraph can't help but shake his head at its final words. He has found someone who appreciates him. Who doesn't just say it but shows it, and right now, he is going to go save that person. He made a promise, and it wasn't just to Dean.


End file.
